Wednesday, 16 November 2016
Space Fury (1999)
There's a scene in this film where Michael Paré's character kind of slumps his head forward and looks at the floor, and I was like "You're thinking about your career right now, aren't you?"
Which yes, is cruel of me, but frankly Paré does seem to be dying a little inside with every dreadful line he's forced to deliver and I had to get my entertainment from somewhere, because it certainly wasn't going to come from this film.
Our setup is that two American astronauts are arriving via shuttle at a Russian-operated space station (the Tesla). There's a problem with the docking procedure, which causes some minor damage to the station, but eventually the newcomers are safely aboard.
Meanwhile, back on Earth, a prostitute is found killed. Clutched in her hand is a pin that could only have come from one of the two Americans who just arrived on the base. One of them is a murderer! Not only that, but it's likely that terrorists have co-opted him for some mad plan involving using the station as a weapon of mass destruction.
Having set up a mystery with all of two possible culprits, the writers apparently decide that there's not much point concealing which of them it is and immediately move into cut rate "psycho killer" shenanigans.
With acting that varies from serviceable to dreadful (the 'effort' to portray one character as French is hilariously bad) and sets that range from mediocre to non-existent, Space Fury is 90 minutes you will never get back.