Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

Life is good for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  They've slain the Shredder, and scattered his clan of evil ninja ("The Foot") to the winds.  They're staying in their friend April's nifty apartment - a big step up from their old sewer base, I think you would agree - and the pizza is flowing hot and frequent.

Of course, into every ninja turtle's life a little ninja rain must fall.  The first drops splash down when shadowy company Techno Global Research Industries (TGRI) begins clearing an old site of canisters filled with glowing ooze: the self -same ooze that led to the "mutant" part of the turtles' name!  They set out to make sure the ooze doesn't fall into the wrong hands ...

... and well, wouldn't you know that The Foot aren't quite as scattered or defeated as they first appeared?  Or, in fact, that tales of the demise of the Shredder might be quite as inaccurate as those regarding Mark Twain?  Because yep, old Shred-Head is back, with a plan to create his own killer mutants with which to overcome "turtle power".

The original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film was a big hit, so the quick move to release a sequel is hardly a surprise.  Unfortunately, those in charge of the production were worried about charges that the first film had been too dark and violent (and for families used to the sanitised Archie Comics version of the characters, it was probably something of a shock).  To say that they over-corrected is a significant understatement.  The turtles mug constantly for the camera, and every fight scene becomes a goofy parade of slapstick antics.  I'm frankly surprised no-one manages to slip on a banana peel.  The plot and acting is similarly juvenile and dim-witted, with the stupid piling ever higher until we discover that Shredder 2.0 might well be the mot inept villain in the history of inept vilainy.

Not good, and not even the good kind of bad.

The Walking Dead, Season 2 (2011)

Having narrowly escaped being blown up by a suicidal CDC scientist, former Sheriff Rick Grimes, his family and friends are attempting to make their way through the zombie-infested countryside to Fort Benning.

This plan hits a rather major hurdle when Rick's son Carl is accidentally shot by a survivor from another group.  Near tragedy turns to what seems like a golden opportunity, however, when the culprit brings Rick & Company back to his own group's base.  This is a productive, well-maintained farm with space and food for the whole group, should they be allowed to stay.

Of course, the occupants of the farm are not exactly leaping at the opportunity to feed a bunch of strangers indefinitely, nor do they necessarily share all the same opinions or beliefs about the ongoing undead apocalypse.

And speaking of the undead apocalypse, how long can this oasis of calm go undiscovered by the ravening zombie horde?

When it aired, season 2 of The Walking Dead received quite a lot of criticism for having too slow a pace and not nearly enough zombies.  The latter complaint probably has some merit, especially if flesh eating undead shenanigans are your primary reason for tuning in.  The zombies are reasonably significant figures early in the season and in the last few episodes, but fade into a fairly minor presence for the middle half dozen episodes or so.

On the other hand, neither at the time nor in re-watching the DVDs did I find myself itching for things to get a move on, and I generally have a fairly low tolerance for dragging out a narrative unnecessarily.

If you like zombies, I think season 2 of The Walking Dead is still worth your time.

Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018)

It has been ten years since humanity used massive war machines known as Jagers to close an inter-dimensional rift and end the threat of the monstrous Kaiju that were emerging from it.  Much of the world is still being rebuilt, however, and there are plenty of people who choose to live in those ruins and make their living from the resulting black market trade in leftover kaiju and jager parts.

When two such scavengers are arrested, their skill sets win them a reprieve from jail time if they agree to join the Pan-Pacific Defence Corps, the organisation dedicated to defending the Earth from any further kaiju invasion.  Mind you, it seems like the PPDC is rather in more danger than the planet, as there is a proposal to replace the jagers with remote-piloted drones.  Quite way so much time and effort is being spent on anti-kaiju defences when there hasn't been an attack for a decade is not a question the film will answer ... but you can bet that it's going to turn out to be a good thing it was!

I was a huge fan of the original Pacific Rim, to the point where it may well have been my favourite film of the decade, so as you might imagine, I was very keen to see the sequel.  Unfortunately, the resulting film, while a reasonable enough giant robot vs giant monster romp, rather lacks the impact of its predecessor.  I'll give points to the director for setting his action scenes in daylight, but I have to knock them straight back off for the way that potentially interesting character arcs aren't really followed through, and the lack of "weight" to both kaiju and jager alike.  One of the things the original film got really, really right was making it feel like there really were massive, titanic creatures battling it out on screen, and I never got that impression here.

It's certainly not an awful way to spend a couple of hours, and I don't regret seeing it, but it's definitely a lesser imitation of the original.

Arrow, Season 2 (2013)

After his at best Pyrrhic victory at the end of season 1, Oliver Queen has packed up his MANPAIN and gone back to the isolated island where he spent five years of his life.  But his friends aren't gong to let him wallow forever, and they drag him back Starling City to save his family's company and reclaim his hooded vigilante activities by prowling the streets and cleaning up crime once more.

Of course, there are plenty of people who aren't going to be thrilled to see either Oliver or his crime-fighting alter ego back in town.  The triads, his business competitors, a shadowy conspiracy with malevolent plans for the city ... they're all keen to see one or another of his personas smashed into the mud.

Arrow season two follows up strongly from season one and builds on it narratively and thematically.  I suspect that we may well get to a point where everything that happened in the five years Oliver was missing becomes utterly ludicrous (instead of only faintly so, as it is now).  It also boasts a capable cast who commit to the escalating silliness with straight faces.

If superhero TV is at all your bag, this is worth your time.

Batman: Gotham Knight (2008)

This is an anthology film comprising six short sequences:

• Four kids trade their stories of meeting the Batman
• The Dark Knight saves two cops from a massive gun battle between rival mobs
• Batman tests out a new defence screen with near tragic consequences
• The Caped Crusader tangles with Killer Croc and the Scarecrow
• Struggling through the sewers with an injury, Bats remembers his training
• Deadshot comes to town - but who is his target?

For some people, anthology films are an instant "no deal".  I'm not in that boat, but I do think they are often less than the sum of their parts.  And that assumes I like the parts to begin with, which in the case of this film, I generally didn't.  The fifth section, where an injured Batman remembers being trained in India, is probably the best that's on offer here and even it is only mediocre.  The fact that the art style changes a lot from segment to segment is also an issue.  Not so much for the Dark Knight himself; I'm cool with experimenting with his costumed look; but it was a bit jarring to have to re-work out who the ordinary human characters were in each section.  "Oh, that is supposed to be the same two cops from last segment" was a thought I had more than once.

Definitely one of the weaker DC Animation offerings.

Young Dracula, Season 1 (2006)

12 year old Vlad doesn't want much, really: to go to school, make a few mates, maybe try out for the rugby team.  Normal kid stuff.

The problem is that Vlad's not a normal kid: you see, his surname is Dracula.  While he's not technically a vampire yet, and can eat garlic or go out in the sun all he likes, all that can be expected to change by the time he is 16.

Vlad's father, the current Count Dracula, can't wait for that "unhappy day", but Vlad himself is not on board with the whole biting people thing (unlike his older sister, who can't wait to become an evil Queen of the Night).  And after the family is forced to flee their native Transylvania by an angry mob, he seizes the change to have an ordinary life.  He even manages to get his father to (reluctantly) agree to make do with meat milkshakes in place of feeding off the living ... for a while, anyway.

Yep, things might turn out okay for Vlad.  Just as long his new woodwork teacher doesn't turn out to be a vampire slayer, or anything ...

This is a light family comedy that plays with the traditional 'generation gap' angle via the wrinkle of it being a vampire family (and their human neighbours, of course), and does so quite successfully.  I had a good time with all 14 episodes.

Girltrash: All Night Long (2014)

Daisy and Tyler are thrilled when their rock group lucks into an invitation for a local band competition, but they're about to run into a whole series of obstacles to musical success, from Daisy's lingering crush on her ex (who ran off with the leader of a rival band), to navigating the awkwardness of Daisy's younger sister coming out as a lesbian, to ... well, to the violent criminal to whom they owe nearly five thousand dollars.

Girltrash: All Night Long is a lesbian-themed musical comedy featuring a number of cast members of TV series South of Nowhere and The L Word.  The songs are quirky, and I'm quite fond of the number "Fantasy Crush", but I did feel there was a certain sameness to their sound.  Also, it's pretty obvious that some cast members are rather stronger singers than others!

So should you watch the film?  Well, I guess it depends on how much appeal you see in the idea of an 80s teen buddy comedies like the "Two Coreys" used to do, only with lots of swearing, singing and lesbians.  I personally enjoyed it, though there are definitely some "cringe comedy" scenes that made me quite uncomfortable.

Smallville, Season 2 (2002)

So in case you missed my season 1 review, the basic pitch here is "Superman's origin story through the lens of high school drama".  This sets it apart from the more recent crop of DC superhero shows not because of the frequent doses of romantic angst - trust me, Smallville has nothing on Arrow, on that front - but because it places the lead characters in a position of reduced power within society.  Even if Clark Kent can bend steel with his bare hands, he's still just a teenager in the eyes of most of the people he knows, and they treat him as such.

Smallville ran for 10 years, so presumably they are eventually going to need to deal with how Clark and the others adjust to adulthood, but we aren't there in this season.

On an episode by episode basis this is more or less much of a muchness with season one.  Clark has to deal with some powered threat (most of which are still caused by kryptonite) while also trying to sort out his love-life and find his place in the world.  There are a couple of stinkers ("Prodigal" makes no sense, and "Precipice" is just painful), but on the whole they're generally serviceable enough.

Perhaps more importantly for the show's longevity, this season also starts to build out some longer running story elements.  Clark's friendship with Lex Luthor experiences its first cracks, for instance, and we start to learn more about why Clark was sent to Earth - which may include a purpose that is quite at odds with Clark's own egalitarian, helpful ethos.  I'm quite interested to see how some of those elements will play out in the coming seasons.

Smallville isn't always a home run kind of show, but it manages to get a few runs on the scoreboard each season, so I will be back for another innings soon enough.

Sex and Fury (1973)

Japan, 1905.  A bunch of crooked politician types are gloating about how they are going to run things now when a young anarchist breaks in and tries to murder their leader.  He's quickly run off by the police\, though, and only escapes when a young woman provides him a hiding place (and incidentally steals a locket from him).

This young woman is named Ocho, and she is our actual protagonist.  She is a professional gambler and former pickpocket who is also secretly the orphaned child of a murdered police detective.  Her one goal in life is to punish the people responsible for her father's death, but her only lead is the tattoos the three people have: a deer, a boar, and a butterlfy.

No prizes for guessing that boss politician has one of these tattoos, of course.

Sex and Fury is unapologetically a 'boobs and blood' kind of film, and I guess if that's what you're looking for then it delivers.  There's far too much sexual violence for my tastes, though, and if you want anything else - such as sub-plots that make any kind of sense or actually seem to relate to the main story - then you're definitely in the wrong part of town.