Army of One (2020)

 

After a drug bust goes wrong, resulting in the death of a fellow officer, detective Dillon Baker is struggling with both the guilt, and with the lingering pain of the injury he himself sustained.  As part of his efforts to recover and recuperate, he heads out on a camping trip with his wife, Brenner.

The locals don't seem the friendliest, which maybe makes it a bit unwise for Dillon and Brenner to take shelter in an empty home during a storm.  And even more unwise for them to go poking around as much as they do.  The couple stumble across a secret cache of weapons.  The locals react to this intrusion with lethal force.

And here the movie pulls its 'surprise', though frankly all the marketing already did that.  You see, Brenner Baker isn't just a cop's wife.  She is also a former special forces soldier.  While the crime/militia/religious cult/whatever it is the locals are succeeded in killing Dillon, they only wounded her.  She clambers out of the ditch where they dumped her and begins a one woman quest for vengeance.

Army of One is a pretty standard 'revenge rampage' movie.  These sort of things rest heavily on the person playing the revenge-seeker, and in that regard it does alright.  Ellen Hollman (of Spartacus: Vengeance and Spartacus: War of the Damned) is a convincing presence as Brenner.

Unfortunately, not all the news is so good.  The supporting cast is somewhat uneven, and the script is not terribly good.  It relies quite heavily on the 'everyone in town is in the pocket of the local gang' trope, and the ending misfires.  I can see that they were trying to do something a bit different than the classic 'final hand to hand showdown with the big bad', and I can see why that wouldn't have worked with the specific setup they have created.  But I don't think that what they chose to do instead actually works.

Content warning: the film contains gender-based physical and verbal abuse, unwanted groping, and a lot of references to sexual assault.

Blindspot, Season 1 (2015)

When a large bag is found abandoned in Times Square, authorities clear the area and send in the bomb disposal experts.  What they find inside is not an explosive device, however: it's a naked woman, suffering amnesia and covered from head to foot in hundreds of complex tattoos.

One of the tattoos specifically name FBI Agent Kurt Weller, and he is called in to lead the team who will investigate the case of this "Jane Doe".  That's an investigation which rapidly expands in scope when they realise that "Jane's" tattoos are hints and clues to existing cases and unknown crimes.  Especially crimes of corruption and malpractice.

Of course, as Weller, Jane and company start to uncover all kinds of secrets under all kinds of rocks, the people who put those secrets under those rocks are going to start taking notice ... and taking action.

And then there's the fact that when you begin a show with a high concept hook like 'amnesiac with mystery-solving tattoos', there are certain things that you really have to nail, if you want to keep your audience happy: Who is Jane?  Who put all these tattoos on her?  And why did they do it?

Nailing these questions isn't just about having good answers, it's also about revealing those answers in a satisfying way and at a satisfying pace.  Oh, and you have to do that while also delivering an engaging mystery of the week.

So how does Blindspot do?  Well, it's a mixed bag, to be honest.  On the plus side, I think it paces the progress of its core mystery pretty well, and it has a several engaging secondary characters.  On the negative?  It reveals its secrets at a well-planned rate, they're frankly rather silly answers.  Also, far too much of the show relies on the main characters - who are supposed to be trained FBI agents - doing dumb things.  These factors, plus what felt to me like a very forced and unconvincing romance arc between Weller and Jane, mean that I am unlikely to check out any further Blindspots.

Happiest Season (2020)

 

Abby Holland has good reasons to not like Christmas. But when her partner Harper invites her to spend the holidays with Harper's family, she sucks it up and agrees to go. After all, this the perfect opportunity to not only to introduce herself to Harper's parents, but also to propose to Harper on Christmas morning.

There's one major flaw in Abby's plan, though she doesn't learn that until they're halfway to the Caldwell home.  Harper, you see, hasn't actually told her family that she's gay.  Harper asks Abby to pretend to be her straight roommate for the holiday, a request to which Abby very reluctantly agrees.

It rapidly emerges that the Caldwell family aren't exactly fully functional on the best of days, and with the pressures of not just the holiday season hut also Papa Caldwell's political campaign in full effect, this are definitely not the best of days.  Add Harper and Abby's little secret to the mix and shenanigans, as you might imagine, ensue.

Happiest Season is a fun little holiday rom-com.  It's not really breaking any especially new ground with its themes or its story, but it executes well.  A familiar story, well told, can still be very enjoyable and this is one of those cases.  The solid cast definitely help in that regard; the oft-maligned Kristen Stewart, in particular, is very good as the beleaguered and uncomfortable Abby.

A heart-warming little Xmas Pudding.

Killjoys, Season 3 (2017)

 

Dutch, D'Avin and Johnny have discovered an alien conspiracy to infiltrate and assimilate the human civilisation of "The Quad".  The Hullen, as these aliens call themselves, essentially possess human hosts and control them.  This physically transforms the host, making them able to recover from almost any injury.

How do you fight an enemy that could be anyone and is almost unkillable?  With difficulty!  But Dutch and her team are determined to try.

Complicating the situation even further is that Aneela, a senior Hullen commander, is the spitting image of Dutch.  How can this be possible and what does it mean not just for Dutch personally, but for the fate of the whole Quad?

I wasn't a huge fan of season 2 of Killjoys, as it seemed to be trying to do far too much, too fast, but for my money this third season gets back on track quite nicely.  The Hullen are decently creepy antagonists and are smart enough at using their advantages that they feel dangerous, but they also have a few flaws that may be weaknesses for the good guys to exploit.  It's all quite well judged.

This season also introduces a new main cast member who is quite a good foil for the existing trio, and creates some new dynamics.  This is a good idea for freshening things up.

Not everything is sunshine and roses, of course.  There is still a tendency to rush things when it comes to the main plot.  Or at least, to advance the main plot in a manner that makes it seem rushed.  There's actually enough time in the season to do everything, but the pacing is uneven: in some episodes the main plot doesn't move much, and then in others it makes large jumps and introduces significant new setting elements.  A little more prior planning and foreshadowing would definitely be of help.

Still, overall this season is a fun bit of SF action.

Kate (2021)

 

Kate is an assassin; an expert sniper who eliminates targets specified for her by her handler and surrogate father figure, Varrick. You see Kate was orphaned as a child, and Varrick raised her. It was a bit of an unusual childhood though, involving extensive training in weapons and combat. Hence her career.

Kate's about done with the business, though.  Her most recent job involved assassinating man right in front of his teenage daughter.  To please Varrick, she agrees to do one final mission; then she intends to retire.

It seems though that someone has plans to retire Kate in a rather more permanent way than she intended.  Kate learns she has been poisoned when a wave of dizziness causes her to miss the target of her final job.  The poison is lethal, and she has only 24 hours to live.  Just enough time to find the person responsible - most likely her target, she figures - and settle accounts.

Like Anna and Ava, Kate is a movie about a lethally skilled woman navigating a web of intrigue and violence while trying to work out who her friends and enemies really are.  I'm a bit tired of so many of these films seeming to think that a mononym is enough of a title when you have a female lead.  It doesn't have with guys anywhere near as often.  John Wick at least got a surname, you know?  I know there are exceptions like Peppermint, Atomic Blonde and Gunpowder Milkshake - but the pattern is still there and I'd like to see it stop.

Lazy titling aside, Kate is probably the best of the crop of 'lethal lady' movies that I've recently seen.  The action sequences are well-constructed, Mary Elizabeth Winstead is very good in the title role, and the script is solid.  Not especially innovative or surprising, but solid.

Check this out if you'd like a more grounded female-led action movie than some of the others names above.

Clickbait (2021)

 

After fighting with her brother Nick at a family dinner, Pia Brewer storms off for a night on the town, during the course of which she accidentally drops her phone in the toilet, rendering it non-functional until she is able to dry it. She still hasn't done this yet when, during the next day, a patient at her workplace shows her a video of Nick visibly beaten and holding up a card that says "I abuse women." He then holds up a different card that says "At 5 million views I die."

Neither Pia, nor Nick's wife Sophie, believe the allegations from the video.  They contact the police and a race begins to try and find where Nick is before the video's view counter - which grows with improbable speed - reaches its grim target.  In the course of the investigation, however, all kinds of secrets are going to come out.  Could one of them include that Nick was not the man they believed him to be?

Clickbait is a well-made and well-acted mystery-drama.  Each of the eight episodes is told from the perspective of a different character with a different viewpoint of (and interest in) the case.  This allows new information to be revealed in a variety of ways, or old information to be presented from a new angle.  It's a clever device that helps sustain the mystery and - with one notable exception - to do so in a way that feels natural.

That one notable exception is why I can't whole-heartedly recommend the show, despite its many positive aspects.  It's a particularly egregious and manipulative bit of writing aimed at deceiving the audience about the truth, and it irks me when works of fiction deliberately lie to the audience.  It's not a clever mystery if it only stays mysterious because you didn't give the reader/viewer the correct facts to solve it.  Clickbait had the misfortune that I saw it shortly after I read The Wife and the Widow, which is a mystery that gives the reader everything they need to piece the story together, but ingeniously makes it easy for said reader to miss the hints.  In comparing the two, it's hard not to see Clickbait's narrative manipulation as a cheap trick.

Still, other than that one sour note, this is a very well orchestrated mystery show.  If that's your sort of thing, check it out.

Bonnie & Clyde (2013)

 

Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were an American criminal couple who travelled the central United States with their gang during the Great Depression.  They were known for their bank robberies, although they preferred to rob small stores or rural funeral homes. Their exploits, during which they are believed to have killed at least nine police officers and four civilians, garnered considerable attention from the press between 1931 and 1934.  They were ultimately gunned down by a police ambush.

The most famous cinematic adaptation of Bonnie & Clyde's story is the 1967 film with Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway.  This 2013 miniseries is not likely to threaten its status.  It has a capable cast and it is relatively engaging, but it plays very fast and loose with the historical facts, up to and including hints that Clyde had precognitive visions of his own death.  I could forgive that if I felt the fabrications and hints of psychic powers actually enhanced the story, but - with one exception - I'm not sure they do.  

In my opinion, the script also struggles with pacing.  While there's enough content in Clyde and Bonnie's story to fill the roughly 3 hour run-time, the opening hour or so here is a bit lethargic in its progress.  The opening scene has good impact, but then things shift into low gear and stay there for a while.  I get the need to take a breath after the "bam!" start, but I think that it takes rather too long to get moving again.

On the plus side, the production values are good, and as mentioned the cast are all solid.  If you have an interest in the Bonnie and Clyde story, and go in aware of how fast and loose this plays with the facts, you may well enjoy it.

Spartacus: War of the Damned, Season 3 (2013)

 

The man known as Spartacus has led his army of freed slaves to several victories over the Roman forces sent to destroy them, but success brings its own risks. The Roman Republic (there's no emperor, yet) is a stubborn and implacable foe with vast resources, and with the colder months drawing in, Spartacus's growing force cannot continue to live off the land.

The former gladiator thus turns his attention to seizing a city: somewhere with the resources to sustain his people over the winter, and the stout walls to protect them from Roman armies.  Perhaps a port city, so they can buy resources from overseas ... or even escape Italy entirely.

Of course, there are plenty of challenges to his plans.  Not all of Spartacus's allies agree with his plans and methods, and disunity in the face of the Republic may well get them all killed.  And the Romans, of course, are not going to sit idle.  In the form of Marcus Crassus, they have finally appointed a capable general to the task of destroying the slave rebellion.  And Crassus, in turn, as secured the aid of ambitious young officer named Julius Caesar ...

War of the Damned is a fine ending to the blood-and-nudity-fest that has been this version of the Spartacus story.  The violence and sex remain very much a major component of the show, mind you: I feel like we have seen half of New Zealand naked by this point.  But if you can cope with that, and with all the swearing, there's a solid story being told under all the sleazy excess.  Hissable villains, flawed 'heroes', triumph and tragedy: they're all here.

Suicide Squad (2016)

 

In a world plagued by super-powered villains, it seems reckless to rely just rely on there always being a superhero on hand to stop them.  Maybe the heroes will be busy, or just not feel like it, or maybe they'll become villains.  Or maybe they'll get killed, like Superman just did.  (Spoiler: he gets better in a later movie)

That's the kind of scenario that keeps people awake at night, but Amanda Waller has a plan to help us all sleep safely: take some of those very same super-villains and use them to stop their fellow bad guys.  Her chosen agents will get time off their sentences in return, and they're completely expendable to her, since they are bad guys, after all.  Of course, these are not the most trustworthy folk, so as an insurance policy, she's also going to stick explosive devices in their skulls.  If they lose their heads and get out of line, they'll ... well, lose their heads.  Cant fail, right?

Well of course it can.  In a world with super-powers there are any number of ways this little plan can go sideways.  So it is perhaps not entirely a surprise that the very first mission Waller's "Suicide Squad" is going to have to take on is stopping the last supervillain she tried to blackmail into doing her bidding.

Which would be fine, if Waller seems to have learned anything at all from that experience - there's no evidence she has - or if the resulting mission was in any way interesting or exciting or engaging.  Alas, Suicide Squad is a movie without any tension about its outcome.  It's painfully obvious from the start which characters are there to make the team's name actually true, and which are going to survive and maybe even realise that 'doing good' is not a wholly unrewarding experience.

Now, that kind of obviousness to the ending could possibly be forgiven if the ride to get there is fun, and we often go into movies with just that expectation: no-one really believes Batman will buy it in a Batman movie, after all.  Alas, this film fails to make the journey particularly interesting.  The vast majority of it is spent fighting faceless minion monsters that the team pretty much just shoots a lot, and at the end of the day, the script can't even be bothered to establish what the villain is trying to do.  She's just a magic bad guy doing bad guy magic for magical bad guy magical reasons.

Frankly, given the somnambulistic scripting, this is more Sleepwalking Squad than Suicide Squad.  Very mediocre.

Smallville, Season 7 (2007)

Just as Clark Kent is forced to face off against a Bizarro version of himself, his life is further complicated by the arrival of a new Kryptonian. Is she friend or foe?

And if that wasn't enough, there is plenty more to deal with: allies who are frankly more likely to kill him than some of his enemies, his friends getting chased by the FBI, secret conspiracies and oh yeah, former nemesis Brainiac isn't as dead as Clark believes.  All this while the still not yet Superman heads toward his final (?) confrontation with Lex Luthor.

Season seven of Smallville is the usual mix of superheroic adventure, sudsy relationship melodrama, and rolling your eyes at how much of the drama in Clark's life is down to his own decisions.  This year we have the added factor of a new main character - Kara, the Kryptonian I mentioned.  That's her in the teeny top in the picture above.

Kara is something of a problem, actually.  Not due to anything relating to the actor's performance, mind you.  The problem is that the writers don't really seem to know what to do with her.  Kara's path through these 20 episodes is rather a rambling mess, and from what I understand the character is going to be pretty rapidly dropped from the show next season.

Ultimately, Smallville's writing has never been strong in the longer 'big picture' stories, and that is really evident in this season.  Also, the show's formula is feeling a little bit tired here.  It's probably a good thing that a couple of long term cast members are making their final regular appearances here, which should force the show's creative team to switch things up.  We'll see how well they handle that when we get to season 8.

All that said, there are some decent episodes in here and this season does wrap up a lot of long term plotlines, so if you have been enjoying the Smallville ride thus far, it's probably worth your time to tick it off the list.

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

 

In 1987, Jordan Belfort lands a job as a Wall Street stockbroker. He is a quick convert to the sex-and-drug-fuelled stockbroker culture and the cynical ethos that a broker's only goal is to make money for himself. When then he loses his job following Black Monday, the largest one-day stock market drop in history, which you would think might bring an end to that.

You'd think wrong.  Belfort and takes a job at a boiler room brokerage firm on Long Island that specializes in penny stocks, and rapidly realises that this end of the market is more or less completely unregulated.  Through deeply unethical business practices, he's soon raked in enough cash to set up his own brokerage firm, giving it the 'respectable sounding' name of Stratton Oakmont.

Now his own boss, Belfort is able to expand the size and scope of his unethical trading practices.  Even an expose by Forbes magazine doesn't dent his success: on the contrary, it brings a host of greedy, equally unethical brokers to his door, looking for work.

For most of the 1990s, Belfort's wild ride of drugs, sex and illegal deals spins on in ever more extravagant manner.  Of course, that also means it is getting more and more out of control, and eventually - eventually - the authorities are sure to come knocking.

Jordan Belfort is a real person, and The Wolf of Wall Street is based on real events.  It's anchored by a charismatic performance from Leonardo di Caprio and a whole lot of nudity.  This latter is a big factor in what I consider the film's key flaw: it's glamourising of Belford and his lifestyle.  In the real world, Belfort's criminal activities destroyed people's lives.  The movie very much treats this as 'suckers deserve what they get'.  The very real costs of Belfort's life of fancy cars and sex with models are not depicted, and there's no effort to engage with - or even acknowledge - the misogynistic underpinnings of that lifestyle.  Women in Belfort's life were just another commodity to be traded, used and discarded.

This is a technically well-made film, but I wish it didn't feel so much like it thinks Belfort is a cool guy, sticking it to the man.

Vagrant Queen, Season 1 (2020)

 

Elida is a scav: she lives on the fringes of society, drinking in dingy bars and taking on whatever shady jobs she can find.  Anything that'll pay to keep her spaceship more or less running and herself out of the clutches of the law.

All scavs want to avoid the attention of the law, but Elida has a particular reason to stay out of their sight: she's actually Eldaya al-Feyr, the former child queen of Arriopa.  And while Elida has no interest in reclaiming her throne, the military junta that deposed her have a great deal of interest in making sure she's too dead to change her mind.

The relentless pursuit of one Commander Lazaro, in particular, will soon drive Elida - along with the oddball collection of more-or-less friends she has made along the way - into a corner where she will have no choice but to return to Arriopa and face her past ... and her future.

Vagrant Queen is a comedic science fiction adventure show made for what I suspect was "not a lot of money".  They've used what resources they did have quite well, though: the cast are all solid and the cheapness of the production is often given an in universe explanation.  It makes sense that everything looks like recycled junk and duct tape when your characters openly admit they keep their ship running with recycled junk and duct tape, after all!

Entertainment-wise, this is overall a pretty fun romp.  I like the romantic sub-plot they work through the series, and that Elida's lack of desire to the queen is fully sincere.  Overall it builds well and the concluding episode - even if it does feature a new development that was obviously intended for the cancelled second season - makes a pretty good culmination of the story.

It's not without negatives, of course: certain of the plot elements are perhaps a little formulaic, and the humour doesn't always work.  I think the first gag I genuinely laughed at instead just smirking a little did not come until episode 2.  But overall I am glad I checked it out, and if you like this kind of stuff, I suggest you give it a look. 

Venom (2018)

 

Investigative journalist Eddie Brock is determined to break open the Big Stories and prove himself as a man who asks the hard questions of powerful people.  Unfortunately, in asking hard questions of businessman Carlton Drake, who he has learned is conducting secret experiments, on human subjects Brock makes a couple of fairly serious mistakes, not the least of which is that he got wind of this fact by illicitly reading confidential documents to his fiancée.

Unsurprisingly, Eddie Brock soon finds himself both unemployed and unengaged.  But his efforts to challenge Carlton Drake are about to have far more extreme consequences.  A source at Drake's labs helps Brock break into the facility to get the proof he needs.  This inevitably goes wrong, and Eddie is exposed to an alien symbiote that bonds with him as a host.

Now Brock finds himself with a constant sense of hunger, a strange voice in his head, and weird new powers that he's definitely going to need.  Because Drake's not the kind of man to let one of 'his' symbiotes go without a fight.  Oh, and there's also the matter that there's at least one other symbiote that's at large, and it makes Brock's surly, violent cohabitant look like the sweetest guy in the world.

Eddie and his new passenger, "Venom" are going to need to learn to work together if they want to stay at liberty ... and alive.

Venom is a goofy, over-the-top superhero film.  It's by no means a deep or subtle movie, but it's not trying to be.  It's aiming squarely at being a popcorn crowd pleaser with plenty of quips, physical comedy, and extravagant action sequences.  And if you're looking for something uncomplicated and unchallenging and just fun to watch, you could do a lot worse.

True Blood, Season 7 (2014)

 

"Hepatitis V" has swept the globe.  The disease can be carried by both humans and vampires alike, but is harmful only to the latter.  It is passed on by body fluid transfer, including blood, meaning that any infected human - and any human could be infected - a death sentence for a vampire that feeds on them.

Packs of infected vampires are now roaming the less urban parts of the US, threatening isolated towns with destruction.  Humans - and those uninfected vampires who hope to peacefully co-exist with them - must work together to stay safe.

And then if all this confusion and mayhem was not enough, there comes the possibility of a cure ...

This final season of True Blood is generally a reasonably enjoyable romp, and in particular I think that it ends strongly, which is a key checkbox to tick off for your show's finale.  That doesn't mean it is entirely free from flaws, of course.  I found its treatment of Tara and Pam to be very disappointing, for instance.  But on the whole, it wraps up its narrative - including the central question of 'can humans and vampires find a way to co-exist?', and the individual fates of most of the main cast - in a satisfying manner.

If you've come this far with the show, I definitely think it is worth coming back for the final 10 episodes.

Snakehead (2021)

 

After losing custody of her daughter, who is adopted by a white American couple, Chinese national Tse pays a people smuggler known as a 'Snakehead' to bring her to New York. The deal is that she will work as a prostitute to pay off her debt, but Tse gambles on carving out another role within her employer's criminal enterprise. That will require doing some dangerous and unpleasant things, but it means more money, and more chance to find her daughter. Tse's willing to take any risk for that.

But even if her high risk strategy is successful, it will only expose Tse to further dangers: more difficult assignments, rivalries with others in her own organisation, and potentially the attention of the authorities.  Can she find a way to secure both her own future and that of her daughter?

Snakehead is a labour of love by Evan Jackson Leong, who worked on the project for over a decade and ultimately edited, produced, wrote and directed the movie.  I first became aware of it in 2016, when I backed a kickstarter to raise funds for filming.

Five years later, the movie has finally been released, which I imagine must feel like a huge personal triumph for Leong.  Even better, it's a movie I think he can feel justly proud of.  This is not to say it is flawless, by any means.  The (brief) action sequences are modest and not very dynamic, for one thing.  The use of narration is inconsistent, too: sometimes a bit intrusive, sometimes absent when it might have helped.  But overall, Snakehead is an engaging drama about what we may be willing to do, and to sacrifice, to secure the life and happiness of the ones we love.

Elementary, Season 2 (2013)

 

Having brought the elusive Jaime Moriarty to justice at the end of season one, Sherlock Holmes and Joan Watson return for another season of mysteries-of-the-week, some of which will ultimately lead into a final showdown with a major villain.  In the course of repeating this through-line, they will tangle with a number of figures from Holmes's past, including Inspector Lestrade (played by the ever-reliable Sean Pertwee) and Sherlock's brother Mycroft.  And of course Ms Moriarty will pop up at some point.

In so immediately highlighting that this season follows a very similar narrative pattern to the first, I am perhaps doing Elementary a bit of disservice.  And so I will immediately add that those mysteries-of-the-week remain generally satisfying, the interplay of the cast remains solid, and I enjoyed watching it.

I'm even likely to watch more of the show: it just might need to be a while before I do.  The basic formulae used in the plots for this season were just a little too close to those of the last for it to feel fresh.  It was decent entertainment, but a bit too familiar and 'safe' in its execution.  I think perhaps a slightly larger main cast would help: something to spark up the interplay of characters in new directions.

Overall, if you're a fan of these kind of quirky mystery shows with oddball lead characters, this should probably tick all the boxes for you.  If on the other hand your interest in the form is not so committed, and you have already seen the first year's worth of episodes, then this might feel a little too safe and familiar to you.  That was the case for me.

Freaky (2020)

 

Four boozing teenagers discuss the urban legend of a serial killer known as the Blissfield Butcher.  In the manner of such things, they promptly end up as his latest victims.  After the kills, the Butcher leaves with an ancient sacrificial dagger he found in the house. 

The next day, Millie Kessler drags herself to school for another day of being a social outcast, mocked and ostracised by most of her peers.  Part of why she goes is that her home life isn't much better: her father is dead, and her mother has turned to alcohol to cope.

After that night's high school football game, Millie is left alone at the field. Her mother was supposed to come pick her up, but has passed out from too much wine.  Millie thus becomes the latest attempted victim of the Butcher.  But something strange happens when he stabs her with the dagger: they both suffer the same injury.  This gives the Butcher pause long enough for Millie's older sister - a cop - to turn up and scare him off.

The next day, Millie awaken and the Butcher both awaken ... but they are not in their own bodies.  Hijinks will most definitely ensue.

So yep, what we have here is a case of Freaky Friday meets Friday the 13th.  This is not something the film is trying to hide: that title is something of a giveaway, after all.  It's a sound enough premise, but in the end the big question - if you will pardon the killing related pun - is how is the execution?

I'm pleased to say that Freaky is a fun film that delivers on the entertaining possibilities it presents.  It is helped a lot by the cast, who fully commit to the concept, and by a willingness to humorously explore not just the consequences for Millie-in-the-Butcher's body, but also for what it means for a serial killer to suddenly lose the size and strength advantage that they are used to possessing.

If the basic concept appeals, then you should definitely get Freaky.

Fight of the Living Dead: Experiment 88 (2016)

When Youtube first launched their premium service, they also produced a number of 'premium only' video series.  To a very small extent, they still do, but these days they seem to rely much more on the value proposition of ad-free access to their massive music and video library.

Fight of the Living Dead: Experiment 88 is one of their early subscriber-only offerings.  It puts ten 'Youtube Stars' into a simulated zombie outbreak.  This takes place in a 'research centre' (actually a non-operational hospital) over a period of 72 days.  The show's producers issue instructions to the participants through both the PA system and recordings that they have planted for the Youtubers to discover, and the outcomes of this are captured on video.

Much of the video is presented as being captured via fixed-place security cameras, but there are plenty of instances where it is clear a camera-person is on site.  I suspect there are at least a few occasions - mostly when participants are 'killed' by zombies - where sequences were staged and filmed after the event.

Of course, no 'reality show' is entirely unscripted, particularly not when you have a zombie infestation scenario as your central premise.  I don't think that 'they re-filmed some bits' is a real strike against the show.  The bigger question is "was I entertained?"

And yes, on the whole I was.  I don't know any of the people on screen from their Youtube work - not a surprise, given that Youtube has so much content it is impossible to keep up with more than tiny part of it - but they are all relatively vibrant personalities and comfortable in front of a camera.  Unsurprising, given the work they do.  They all seem quite willing to engage with the basic scenario, too, which is important.  And the scenario, while hardly innovative, is generally executed quite well.

They also smartly don't pretend this is 'real'.  They intercut 'backstage interview' type segments within the 'experiment', and discuss some of the aspects of how the facility and scenario were developed and executed.

If the basic premise of this appeals to you, and you have Youtube Premium, it's worth a look.

Lake Noir (2013)

 

Content Warning: rape scene

A group of teenagers (at least one of whom is played by an actor clearly well into his 30s) drive up to an isolated lake for a weekend of swimming, fishing, boozing and screwing.  Not necessarily in that order.

They're the only ones camping at this particular lake, which proves a boon for those of them with a more fornicatory agenda.  The guys are especially delighted when a local warns them off from staying off at the lake, providing a rambling explanation involving a twenty year old rape and murder that has left the area stalked by a vicious supernatural killer.  This, they reason, will make a great ghost story to tell the ladies, and ensure they want to cuddle extra tight once the lights go out.

The idea that there really might be a murderous monster at the lake of course does not occur to them, which is why most of them will be dead by the end of the film.  That's not a spoiler, right?  "Bunch of highly-sexed teens go to the lake" has meant "bunch of teens get murdered" for over forty years now.

So this is a reasonably recent film which is consciously and openly modelling itself on slasher films in general and the Friday the 13th franchise in specific.  Which is something I could get on board with, to be honest, were it executed with any verve or imagination.

Alas, neither of these qualities are on show in Lake Noir.  The people behind the film appear to believe that as long as there are some topless ladies and a few deaths, they've done all they need to do.  Injecting any kind of life into the script, or indeed even giving the actors lines that sound like something real people might say, appears to be have been ruled out as far too much work.

Now sure, realism was never high on the agenda for the Friday films, either, but at least most of those understood the idea of at least trying to build tension, and of making the kill scenes dynamic and graphic so that the audience might actually react to them.  Lake Noir has kill scenes that are as dull as the painful dialogue that preceded them.

Killer Mermaid (2014)

 

Americans Kelly and Lucy take a break from their busy lives States-side to take a holiday in the Balkans.  They're planning to use the trip to see the beautiful coastline and to catch-up with their college friend (and Kelly's former flame) Alex.

The first wrinkle in this idyllic plan is that Alex is now engaged.  This is something he hasn't told the ladies.  The second wrinkle is that the spark between Alex and Kelly clearly hasn't guttered out.  The third wrinkle ... well, it's in the title of the film.  One impromptu visit to an abandoned jail on a Mediterranean island, and the holiday-makers are fighting for their lives against a lethal aquatic menace and her equally homicidal land-based minion.

Killer Mermaid kicked off with sufficient self-awareness that I was briefly hopeful.  If you give your film a title this unsubtle then it's not a bad plan to kick it off with gratuitous nudity and a boat hook murder.

Unfortunately, after a brisk and bombastic start the film founders on shoals of tedious relationship melodrama.  Even after it finally navigates those, it can't find a way back on course.  There's no momentum to the plot and the technical limitations of the action sequences mean that even when we finally get some life and death scuffles they're not at all compelling.

Ultimately, this film fails to keep its head above water.

Demon (2013)

 

FBI Agent Nicole Diaz is dispatched to Florida to look into several strange deaths that have taken place there.  Her arrival is not met with much warmth by the good old boy local sheriff, who has apparently been directly imported from the 1950s and is thus outraged that the FBI sent a lady type agent to investigate.

As the investigation progresses, it quickly becomes apparent that the cause of these deaths is a genetically-mutated Chupacabra.  Mostly because a couple of scientists turn up and say "The killings were committed by our genetically-mutated Chupacabra".  Something nominally reminiscent of action ensues.

Oh boy.

I have seen a lot of bad films in the course of this blog.  A lot.  So when I say that Demon is a shoo-in to feature on any "Ten Worst" list I might compile, understand how truly, deeply inept and tedious that means this movie actually is.

Demon is a disaster on every front.  The acting is grade-school theatre level, with lines delivered with all the grace of a hippopotamus falling out of a hot air balloon.  Mind you, you'd have to be the vocal equivalent of an Olympic Gymnast to engender any finesse to the clumsy, leaden dialogue on offer.

That's when you can hear said dialogue, mind you, because the sound mix is every bit as atrocious as everything else about the film.

There are good movies, and bad movies, and so bad they're good movies.  And there's cinematic faecal matter.  Demon is definitely the last.  Steer well clear.

Death Rot (2014)

Metal band "Death Rot" are in the middle of a long tour of the US.  When their bus blows out multiple tires on an isolated back road, their main concern is that they might miss the show booked for that night.

Those concerns will soon become a very distant concern.  The breakdown of the band's bus is definitely no accident, and the people behind it have a very particular, very unpleasant line of business for which they need some new inventory.

These death metal rockers will soon find the gore-spattered lyrics of their songs become an entirely too real experience ...

Death Rot is a micro-budget horror film.  I'm not sure what the exact budget was, but they are working in the kind of range where raising a few hundred dollars on Indiegogo is worthwhile.  Despite the obvious limitations this brings to the production, it's relatively competent on most technical fronts.  I can see and hear what is happening, the plot more or less makes sense, and the acting, while far from compelling, is mostly passable.  There are some minor roles that are ... not good, shall we say.

It's clear that the people behind this had passion for the project and have worked hard to make it as good as it could be, in the circumstances.  But is that worth a recommendation?  Honestly, I think if earnest micro-budget film-making is something you are into, then the answer might be "yes", but that's a pretty small niche. Also, if that is your niche, then I have to admit that Death Rot lacks the gonzo charm of something like Harvest Lake.

Trollhunter (2010)

 

A group of college film students set out to make a documentary about a suspected bear poacher, but instead accidentally stumble into the operations of a secret government agency.  This agency is tasked with hunting and killing trolls, and in doing do without revealing to the public that these creatures even exist.

Naturally, the students - once they get over their initial derision of the idea that trolls exist at all - quickly realise that this would be a huge scoop for them.  And luck is perhaps on their side, for the 'poacher' is actually a disgruntled troll hunter who is tired of his dangerous and poorly recompensed work and more than willing to ruin his employer's day by blowing the lid off this whole thing.

Of course, the authorities are not exactly pleased about this, and it's safe to say that the trolls aren't real keen on humans poking around in their territory, either, so the scoop of a lifetime could also lead to the end of their lifetimes ...

I'm a little torn over how to rate this film because minute-to-minute, Trollhunter is reasonably watchable.  However, in the end I feel that the film as an entire work is not satisfying, so I can't give it even a qualified recommendation.  

The film's problems are multiple: no explanation is ever given for why the existence of trolls should be kept secret, for instance.  Which given the obvious difficulties and expense of maintaining this secrecy, is definitely something I was asking.  Then there's the basic through-line of the plot, which is somewhat meandering and just kind of peters out rather than arriving at a meaningful conclusion.

I liked seeing more-or-less traditional Scandinavian trolls turning up on screen, but at the end of the movie I was left asking "wait, is that it?".

Train to Busan (2016)

 

Investment banker Seo Seok-woo is a cynical workaholic and divorced father, living in Seoul. When his daughter Su-an wants to spend her birthday with her mother in Busan, at the other end of the country, he initially tries to refuse her. Ultimately though, guilt over his own absentee parenting prompts him to agree to her request.

Seok-woo does, however, refuse to let Su-an take the journey alone, and accompanies her onto the train.  This proves to be very fortuitous, as Seoul descends into chaos behind them due to a zombie outbreak.  Alas, one of the infected manages to get on board the train as well, and soon flesh-eating undead are rampaging through the carriages.  Seok-woo, Su-an and the other passengers must try to stay alive long enough to reach a place of safety - though with the speed the zombie outbreak is spreading, it's unclear if any such place exists.

Train to Busan is a solid and engaging zombie film from South Korea.  It has some great sequences as the dwindling group of survivors try to stay one step ahead of the zombie contagion, offering a few set pieces that are distinctive and memorable and don't immediately remind me of anything I have seen from the genre before.

If you're not one of those people who has become burned out on zombie media, this is an excellent example of the form, and well worth a couple of hours of your time.

On a meta-textual level, I also think the film has obvious parallels to the Korean War - where Busan formed the final stronghold for fleeing South Koreans before the the UN force's invasion of Incheon forced North Korean forces to withdraw.  I would be very surprised if this parallel was not entirely deliberate.

The Blob (1988)

 

Arborville has seen better days.  The past two winters have been mild, which is not good news for a town that relies on trade from skiing-based tourism to survive.  But when a strange meteorite crashes in the nearby woodlands, economic doldrums will be the least of the townsfolk's troubles.

The meteorite, you see, contains a strange, ooze-like lifeform that is attracted to - and rapidly consumes - living tissue.  And each time it feeds, it grows.  This 'Blob' takes little time to start making use of the abundant 'food source' that the town represents, and nothing the locals can throw at it seems to slow it down.  But the swift arrival of the authorities will surely help them find a way to survive ... right?

This remake of the 1958 film of the same name adds a vein of black humour to the squishy menace of the Blob itself.  It smartly doesn't let that humour get in the way of the menace itself, though.  This monster may look like a massive pile of goopy, translucent silly putty, but it is deadly dangerous, and the film makes sure we know it.  This is not one of those 'horror' films where only jerks actually come to a sticky end. 

This version of The Blob is also transcendentally 80s in its style.  Don't take my word for it, though.  Just bask in the glory of the film's first shot of Shawnee Smith's character, Meg:

80s to the MAX!

This is a really fun monster rampage movie with a solid cast and a satisfying narrative that features some surprising moments.  If this is at all your sort of thing, you should check it out.

The Neon Demon (2016)

 

I have watched plenty of bad movies since I started this blog, but I am struggling to remember ever being genuinely angry about having to review one of them.

But this pompous, pretentious, boring film has already wasted 7 million dollars, a talented cast and two hours of my time.  So I am seething a little at the thought of expending even a few minutes effort on telling you how bad it is.

So I will be brief.

The concept behind the (overlong, meandering) plot of this film can be summed up as "what if the fashion industry literally consumed the young women who enter it?".  Which might actually be a workable if obvious idea on which to base a horror film, but not when it is literally the only idea you seem to have, and you only bring it out with ten minutes of the movie left.  You could literally watch the opening five minutes of this movie and the 'swimming pool' scene right near the end and you would have the entire story and would have saved yourself a lot of time.

You would 'miss out' on the movie's many rape-y and/or objectifying moments by doing that, but frankly that sounds like a win as well, to me.

This is smug, vacuous cinematic excrement.

Behind the Mask: the Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)

 

If you're a slasher movie fan, skip the rest of this review and just go watch this movie.  I don't think you will regret it.

For those of you are still with me, the premise of Behind the Mask is that, in a world where all the Halloween and Friday the 13th films actually happened, a small documentary film crew has arranged to film the training and preparations of one Leslie Vernon, who has ambitions to be the next great slasher-killer.  He has agreed to take them through his training regimen and explain how he will engineer and execute his kills, and in return they have agreed not to interfere in his murderous plans.

Now that's not a deal I would make, and I hope you wouldn't either.  But Leslie is a seemingly friendly and quite personable fellow, and while his intended murders remain just an intention, our trio of tele-journalists actually find themselves enjoying taking part in his elaborate machinations.  Of course, whether they will still feel so blasé about things when the blood actually starts to spray is quite another matter ...

Behind the Mask is obviously made by people with a firm knowledge of the slasher genre, and I love the effort they have put into coherently explaining the conceits and foibles of such films.  Just how does a killer who never seems to move faster than a walk keep getting in front of people who are running away?

I also love how straight they play their whole premise, however absurd it might be.  For all that the film openly deconstructs slasher movies, no-one is winking at the camera when Leslie's rampage actually begins.

I very much enjoyed this.

 

Creature (1985)

 

In the near-ish future, two companies - one American, one (West) German - compete to gather resources across the solar system.  So when a mission to Titan (one of Saturn's moons) discovers evidence of an advanced alien civilisation, there's immediately an urgent competition to seize what seems an astonishing resource.  Though perhaps both companies should be paying more attention to the fact that none of the original discoverers survived to make it back to Earth.

Because of course not all of these ancient aliens are dead, and the survivor is more than dangerous enough to slaughter any humans foolish enough to disturb it.  But I imagine you worked that out already, right?

With its 'spaceworkers stumble across a dangerous extra-terrestrial' premise, Creature (AKA Titan Find) obviously owes a considerable debt to the Alien franchise.  But I suspect that John Carpenter's The Thing was also a significant source of inspiration: and not just because this film very consciously and explicitly references the 1951 film based on the same short story as Carpenter's horror masterpiece.  Our alien nemesis here can infect and control humans, turning them into its agents, which allows it to use the same kind of infiltration and deception tactics as Carpenter's 'Thing'.  Of course, it probably also didn't hurt that 'it operates through human agents' allows this film to get away with a pretty minimal amount of actual on-screen alien action.

So with all that said, is the film any good?

Well, it's no Alien or The Thing.  The effects are bit rubbery and the plot isn't terribly novel, and there's some rather problematic, aggressive sexual content from Klaus Kinski's character.  

On the other hand, it is not without its 1980s charms, and the cast all know what they are doing.  Best of all, once we are past the rather disjointed opening sequences, the script doesn't ask the characters to behave in any too obviously foolish ways.

If you're in the mood for some space-based horror and you've not seen it before, you might enjoy spending 95 minutes with this Creature.

The Rezort (2015)

The zombie apocalypse happened, and we won.

It was by no means an easy victory, and some people still suffer from the effects. These effects may be physical: there are still refugee camps dotted in several parts of the world, for instance. Or they may be psychological, as is the case of the trauma still felt by Melanie Gibbs. But for most people, the war is in the past and it is time to rebuild.

Of course, people being people, not all of the ways that humanity chooses to 'rebuild' are particularly constructive. An example of this is 'The Rezort', an elite tourist destination where you can pay to shoot zombies within a strictly controlled, safe environment. It's mostly a playground for the wealthy, but it's sometimes recommended as therapy for those, like Melanie, who are still struggling with their memories of the war.

It's probably no surprise that those strict controls and safety don't last long once the movie starts.

If you're thinking "that premise sounds kind of like Jurassic Park but with zombies instead of dinosaurs" ... well, actually watching The Rezort is certainly not going to change that impression. The broad strokes of the two films are definitely similar, right down to a hacker attack that leads to the inevitable carnage.

But not every work of fiction has to be original in its basic outline.  Execution matters a great deal.  And The Rezort does pretty well on the execution front.  The cast is capable, the zombie make-up and action are solid, and the plot - the basic premise of creating a 'zombie safari theme park' aside - never demands you accept any particularly absurd actions on the part of the human characters.

If you're a zombie movie fan, this is definitely worth giving a look.

The Human Race (2012)

 

If you don't run, you die.

If you get lapped twice, you die.

If you leave the path, you die.

If you step on the grass, you die.

Only one of you can win.

Eighty people wake to hear those words in their heads, spoken in their own voices.  They don't know how they came to this strange place, or who brought them, but within seconds the truth of the warnings has been gruesomely proved, and so they all begin to run.

Of course, fast as they pound around the course, they can't outrun their own questions: why is this happening?  How do they get out?  How, at the end of it, can they survive?

All good questions, but not necessarily ones that are going to be given particularly good answers, alas.  Certainly no positive ones.  There's a pretty thoroughly negative view of humanity underpinning events here, to say the least.  On the plus side, while I don't think the movie goes anywhere all that interesting in the end - which you could argue is apropos since it is about a bunch of people going in circles - it does manage to tell a couple of reasonably engaging stories about the people caught in this situation.  Maybe, if I really worked hard, I could see recommending this as something that is more about the journey than the destination ... but it's kind of an unpleasant journey.

Content warning: scenes of attempted sexual assault

Do Not Disturb (2013)

 

Once feted as a wunderkind, screenwriter Don Malek now skulks in a grimy apartment in the roughest part of town, dodging persistent questions from his agent, Ava, about progress on his new script.

So Ava is understandably pleased when Don finally shows her what he's been working on, though she's a bit puzzled by his decision to stage an actual scene for her rather than just show her words on a page.  Still, his grisly murder scenario seems like the basis of a good story, so everything is good, right?

Well, maybe it would be, if the murder was actually just a story ...

This film was originally released in 2010 under the title New Terminal Hotel, but was re-cut into this shorter form a couple of years later.  It's hard to imagine that what they would have chosen to cut is 'a decent ending', so I can only assume that the way this movie finishes is the same as the original.  In which case I guess I can at least be glad that it took me 13 fewer minutes to reach it than it would have done originally!

It's rather a shame that the movie doesn't stick an ending as - despite its somewhat slow pace and obviously low budget - it has a pretty decent cast and a basic premise that could have gone in an interesting direction.  You see Dan's sudden change of career from author to killer is motivated by a desire to avenge his girlfriend and punish the men whose power - and willingness to abuse said power - led to her death.  A killer striking against toxic, narcissistic predators is a premise that could potentially create an interesting set of questions and dynamics.  After all, his motives are understandable and even sympathetic, but his actions are reprehensible.

Unfortunately, the film doesn't really engage with this and just goes down the "throw in a few grisly kills and horror buffs will be satisfied, right?" route.  But no, no, I won't.

October 2021 Schedule

As usual, my October reviews will all be horror-themed.  They will be posted on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays.  Regular reviews will resume on Tuesday, November 2nd.

Legends of Tomorrow, Season 3 (2017)

 

The Legends thwarted a plan to re-write reality itself, but to do so they had to break the cardinal rule of time travel: never travel to a time and place to which you've already time travelled.  The fallout of this desperate gamble is that time itself has become fractured, with people and objects disappearing from their proper places and re-appearing elsewhere and 'elsewhen'.

The Legends resolve to tackles these 'anachronisms' but are quickly informed by an officious group known as the Time Bureau that their services/meddling are most definitely not required.  Said Time Bureau is the creation of Rip Hunter, who hoped to a establish a much more controlled, less 'chainsaw'-like approach to mending the rifts in the continuum of time, and they are not interested in letting loose cannons like the Legends play in their time-pool.  The Legends are retired, whether they want to be or not.

As you can imagine, given that the title of the show is not 'The Time Bureau', the Legends don't stay on the shelf very long.  And it is just as well, since these anachronisms are not just a problem in and of themselves but are also instrumental in the plans of a caged Time Demon that intends to escape its prison and conquer ... well, all of history.  The Legends will have to battle this demon's agents across the length and breadth of the time-line, making new friends and enemies along the way.

The first season of Legends of Tomorrow was the weakest Arrowverse show of 2015.  Then it had a considerably stronger sophomore outing, and this third series is handily the best  Arrowverse show of 2017.  The writers have clued in to what makes the show click - snappy banter, quirky characters, and even quirkier situations - and they have committed to it wholeheartedly, with a fun-filled 18 episodes that culminate in a finale that manages be both epic and epically goofy, at the same time.

You Only Live Twice (1967)

 

James Bond is dead, murdered while lounging in the bed of his latest sexual conquest.

Or so this film pretends for a few seconds, but given the title it's probably no surprise to anyone that rumours of Bond's demise are exaggerated.  His 'death' is part of a scheme to allow him to be surreptitiously inserted into Japan, where he is tasked with investigating a mysterious space ship that recently hijacked a NASA vessel in orbit.

This was the last (at the time, anyway) Sean Connery Bond film, and seems clearly to have been planned as the biggest and most extravagant entry in the franchise to date.  Its $10 million budget would not be exceeded by another Bond movie until five films and ten years later.

Honestly, I feel like that ambition occasionally works against the film.  It's a big over-long, despite being 10-15 minutes shorter than the immediately preceding Thunderball, and I feel like Roald Dahl's screenplay leans too heavily on big action sequences and gadgetry and doesn't to enough to stitch them together into an interesting tale.

The fact that it is the third film in a row to climax with a big battle between hordes of SPECTRE goons and good guy soldiers/agents is certainly a misstep, I think.  Or at least, it becomes one when you are watching the films in relatively quick succession, as I am.  Probably when they were hitting theatres only every 1-2 years the "oh it's this again" factor was not so high!

And then there's the whole "let's disguise Bond as a Japanese guy", which I am not sure was a good idea even in 1967, and is certainly not one that has aged well, either way.

Ultimately though, this delivers an 'early Bond'-style adventure, with gadgets and smarmy comments and SPECTRE dreaming up crazy schemes.  If that's your thing, it should tick the boxes for you.

The Flash, Season 4 (2017)

 

They don't fight an evil speedster!

That may not seem like much, but after three straight seasons of the big bad on The Flash being a guy who is even faster than the self-styled 'fastest man alive', it's a real breath of fresh air for his enemy to something else.  Anything else.

This is not to say that I don't have issues with the execution of this season.  While the main enemy is finally different and that does help a lot, there are some underlying problems with the show and its direction.  The Flash continues to be more po-faced and grim every year - the team barely actually saves anyone this year, outside of the season finale - and it has some wonky writing and some decidedly odd direction.  I don't know what they were going for with Katee Sackhoff's guest character, but I certainly hope they missed the target: it's hard to imagine that the performance we see on screen was what they wanted.

(Note that I don't blame Ms Sackhoff for this: I have no doubt she delivered the performance that was requested of her ... I just think it was a bad request)

And then there is the new main villain himself, who I feel starts off with great promise but whose personality, backstory, decisions and schemes grow steadily less and less coherent over the course of these twenty-three episodes.  It also doesn't help that having decided on using a villain whose key ability is his intelligence, the writers heavily rely to the tiresome old 'intellect and emotion are opposites' rubric.  It's possible to have and/or value intellectual brilliance without being dismissive of or blind to the importance of personal connections, guys.

I did ultimately like this season better than I did the second, and would put it about the same level as the third.  If you've enjoyed The Flash thus far, you should find stuff to like here.

Thunderball (1965)

 

The criminal organisation SPECTRE implements a plan to steal two atomic bombs and use them to blackmail NATO.  Unfortunately for them, random chance puts James Bond, codename 007, in the same place as the agent they're using for the mission.  While they still succeed in stealing the bombs, Bond's seen enough to have a good lead on how to find the missing weapons.  That said lead involves a beautiful woman is certainly not something to disappoint 007!

Thunderball was apparently considered as the first Bond novel to be adapted to the screen, but rights issues - or possibly finances - saw it pushed back, so ultimately it became the fourth novel to be filmed.  It leans heavily into the tropes now established for the franchise, with beautiful women, sardonic quips and quirky gadgets all having a featured role.  Structurally, the finale of this movie also seems to be heavily inspired by that of the immediately preceding film, Goldfinger.  The extensive underwater battle this involves is definitely the film's major set-piece, and one I deeply enjoyed when I first saw this film in the 1980s.  Nearly forty years later, I am not as much of a fan: the battle choreography doesn't hold up well by modern standards, and the sequence goes on rather longer than I think it should, contributing to the movie's comparatively long run time (it is about 15 minutes longer than the previous 3 films).

How is Thunderball?  If you like Bond, you should enjoy it.  It ticks all the expected boxes and does so in quite entertaining fashion on the whole.

Arrow, Season 6 (2017)

 

The Green Arrow and his allies have finally overcome the threat of Prometheus, albeit at considerable cost.  Barely have they done so, however, before they are faced with a new threat: super-hacker Cayden James, who has decided - for reasons not initially known - that he must destroy Oliver Queen and the city he holds so dear.

I was not a fan of season five of Arrow, finding the villain to be dull, said villain's scheme nonsensical, and show's constant "This villain is just so awesome and unstoppable" writing to be deeply tiresome.  So you can imagine my delight that season six offers two new main villains who are cut from exactly the same cloth, except that they're even thinner and less developed as actual characters, their schemes are considerably more nonsensical, and the bombastic "OMG THE VILLAIN IS TOTES AWESOME!" writing is no longer laid on with a trowel but with a dumper truck.  When Alternate Universe Nazis turn up for one episode and your show is 100% more entertaining as a result, maybe re-think your main plot, guys.

I haven't even touched on the execrably executed Black Siren subplot, which is mishandled from start to finish.  I understand taking the opportunity to bring Katie Cassidy back as a regular on the show was probably too good to pass up, but surely it could have been done in a less ham-fisted manner, preferably one that didn't seriously undermine the coherency of several other characters in the process?

Arrow offers a perfectly good exit point at the end of season four.  Honestly, right now I rather wish I had taken it.

Goldfinger (1964)

 

When the CIA ask British Intelligence to take a closer look at bullion dealer Auric Goldfinger, whom they suspect of smuggling gold, James Bond happens to be the nearest available agent.  Taking his usual subtle approach, Bond promptly costs Goldfinger a large sum of money and sleeps with the businessman's girlfriend.

Said girlfriend promptly ends up dead, making Bond's desire to catch Goldfinger a bit more personal.  Only a bit, though - you can be sure he'll have a new lady in his life by the end of the film!

You might be thinking that gold-smuggling, no matter now profitable, is a bit low key for a Bond villain.  Don't worry, though.  Old Auric has something considerably more outrageous in the works, though it will be quite some time before Bond - and thus the audience - learns what it is.

Considered by some to be one of the best Bond films, Goldfinger is notable for a couple of 'firsts' for the franchise.  Auric Goldfinger is the first antagonist to have a henchman - the Korean "Oddjob" - as memorable and quirky as he himself.  I think we can assume that Oddjob's success as a character is a key factor behind later adversaries like Jaws and May Day.  This is also the first film where the climax involves both a personal struggle for Bond and a sprawling firefight involving dozens of extras as the US Army clashes with Goldfinger's forces.  This works really well here, which perhaps explains why it is also the structure of the finale of both the next two films (with, I think, diminishing returns).

Content Warning: One thing I do have to mention as a negative: while this film is actually not as bad as the book on which it is based, it's still got a racist and sexist script, and there's a scene where Bond essentially rapes a woman, in the process converting her to his side.