Sunday, 13 April 2014
Blood Mania (1970)
Peter Carpenter's early death cut short his career as an actor and writer. The sad but honest truth is that this is not exactly a great loss to the film industry, at least if this (the first of the two movies he wrote) is anything to go by.
Carpenter plays Dr Craig Cooper, brilliant medical researcher and consummate ladies man. He's so dreamy. Apropos of nothing to do with the last two sentences, it must be nice to be able to write yourself into getting lucky with lots of beautiful women.
That aside, Dr Cooper is also a man with a secret: back in medical school he paid his bills with a sideline in illegal abortions. That was good for ten years in the big house back in 1970, so he's understandably perturbed when a former accomplice comes a-blackmailing.
Fortunately for Dr Cooper, one of his several girlfriends is an heiress and should be able to front him the money as soon as she inherits. There's just the small matter of her cantankerous father still being alive. A small matter she's happy enough to resolve, since in addition to being prone to taking her clothes off, she's apparently somewhat homicidal in her spare time.
Of course, the path of murder for profit rarely runs smooth, and there will be plenty of melodrama - and even a little blood, though hardly enough to justify the film's title - before the credits roll.
This is fairly schlocky stuff, with a goodly chunk of nudity to try and distract from the second rate acting and script. I think if it was just a little more goofy and gonzo, I might even have given it a tentative recommendation. Alas, however, it never quite hits the sublime stupidity of something like Andy Sidaris's Hard Ticket to Hawaii.
But don't worry, we'll be getting to Sidaris's gloriously tacky boobfests in good time.