An idyllic family picnic being interrupted by an attack from a hideous, cannibalistic mutant humanoid would be a noteworthy event all by itself. When said mutant proves to have a necklace made of uncut diamonds, however, that's really going to get people's attention.
The particular people in question for this film are the somewhat shabby salvage company run by Cort Eastman, an aging would-be ladies man, and his foul-mouthed female stevedore, Eddy. They're hired by Danae Chambers, the daughter of a renowned scientist, who believes the creature holds the key to getting out of her father's professional shadow ... and also of course there's the small matter of the source of those gems!
Accompanied by an archaeological intern and a mineralogist, the trio venture into the cave system from which the creature emerged. They have visions of returning to fame and wealth. Pretty soon, of course, circumstances will force them to amend their goals to "hoping to return alive" ...
Based on the image on your screen, you may expect The Phantom Empire to be a sleazier version of Red Sonja. You would be wrong, because the image is a bare-faced - or perhaps bare-fleshed? - lie. While there is a little nudity in the movie, everything about the film is rather more threadbare and modest than the epic fantasy artwork suggests.
Viewers familiar with other works by writer-director Fred Olen Ray will probably not be surprised by the words "threadbare and modest". Ray was a prolific producer of shamelessly low-ambition movies, frequently shot in a matter of days on the absolute minimum of budgets. It was a formula that worked for Roger Corman, after all!
The Phantom Empire is a particularly "Corman-esque" offering from Ray, in fact. He apparently conceived the idea for this film while shooting another movie, wrote the script in a weekend, and filmed the two pictures back to back with the same cast and crew. That's very similar to the story behind the production of several of Corman's film.
Alas, Fred Olen Ray is no Roger Corman. Despite his opportunism and trenchant disdain for spending money, Corman had an eye for talent. Ray, on the other hand, seems to massively over-estimate his own abilities. Because let’s be clear: almost all of the film’s issues can be traced to the script, direction and production, and Ray’s name crops up in all three.
It’s certainly not fair to blame the cast for the film’s failures. They do their best with the material at hand. Special mentions here got to prolific B-movie actor Jeffrey Combs, who is entertainingly weird and awkward as usual, and to Dawn Wildsmith for her turn as Eddy. Her character did not sign up for craziness like this, and is not shy about saying what she thinks of the situation.
There’s only so much the cast can do, though, given the shortcomings of the script. Ray wrote the script in a very little time, and it shows. Most notably in how often it tells us things that are not at all supported by what actually happens. For instance, the characters talk a lot about how dangerous the journey into the caves will be, but then when they go, they all treat the expedition like it's an everyday camping trip, evincing almost no concern for any kind of safety. The film also loudly tells us – and frequently makes us of the fact - that the 'cannibal mutants' can't handle light … but the mutants’ camps are filled with torches and other light sources. Of course they are, the cast and the audience need to be able to see. But still, don’t tell me the mutants can’t stand light when they’re literally standing it very well right now in front of me!
The writing does a lot of “X now happens, because I need X to happen” kind of stuff, to be honest. For instance, it has the group get captured. Ray needs someone to escape, so he has Danae and Eddy do so … by just not following the guards who are leading them to their cell. Even Bond villains don’t have security this lax.
The film is also full of technical shortcomings, such as the set spotlights that occasionally drift into shot, or the action scenes, which are hysterically inept. They’re all just people kind of milling around and occasionally throwing themselves on the floor. Or there’s the attempt to use forced perspective to make a model spaceship look big. The emphasis here is on 'attempt'. They do manage to make it look bigger than it is, I admit. I could conceivably believe it might be as much as six feet long. Unfortunately, I think it’s meant to be about sixty.
The best technical elements are the stop motion dinosaur effects. These are all recycled from the 1977 film Planet of the Dinosaurs, however, so I can’t really give this movie much credit for them.
I recommend you steer as clear of The Phantom Empire as the film’s characters should have done.
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