The Last Legion (2007)

In 476 AD, the ailing Western Roman Empire finally succumbed to the tides of history.  The Goth Odoacer became King of Italy, nominally under the suzerainty of the Eastern Emperor, though in practice as a fully independent ruler.  The final Emperor, the eleven year old Romulus Augustus, was spared and sent into exile at a fortress in Naples.

This film (very loosely) depicts those events, then posits that a small cadre of loyal troops rescued the young Emperor from the fortress and spirited him - and the long-lost sword of Julius Caesar himself - away to Britain.  There, they go in search of the missing Ninth Legion, who might stand by Romulus and assist him in protecting that island from the evil warlord Vortgyn.  If so, perhaps the youngster might become the ruler that his Welsh advisor Ambrosinus believes he can be.

The Last Legion is even sillier than that summary sounds, as I have deliberately not mentioned the final revelation of who Romulus and Ambrosinus become in the (semi-)historical record.  It's probably already obvious, but just in case it isn't, would it help to know that Julius Caesar's sword ends up stuck in a big stone?

Sytill, being silly doesn't automatically make a film unentertaining.  The 1980 space fantasy Flash Gordon is ridiculous, and I love every goofy moment of it.  Now, The Last Legion is no Flash Gordon, but overall, it's light if not especially memorable action fun. 

But does, however, make a few missteps.  One of these is the casting.  Many of the actors, most of whom are of British background, are quite talented.  But not everyone is suited to the role they got, and this is most notably the case of Colin Firth, as the tough and grizzled Roman general Aurelius.  Firth was apparently attracted to the role because it was so different to what he was normally offered. Taking a role against type was a gamble that paid off really well for Liam Neeson; but the same is not true here.  Firth simply doesn't convince me he's the grizzled veteran he is supposed to be.

Also, for a character who is supposed to be a military commander, Aurelius's tactics are dreadful. If you're the officer in charge, maybe don't stand thirty feet in front of your own force's shield wall and try to fight the entire Goth army alone.

Meanwhile, one of the film's (many) silly ideas is the old "Oh my!  This badass fighter is secretly a woman!" trope.  Trust me, that fact is abundantly obvious to anyone with functioning eyes.  Except, apparently, the characters.  

Also, it's amazing how she slaughters dozens of guys while wearing white, and never gets a drop of blood on her! 

Will she be wedged into a thoroughly unconvincing romance subplot with the clearly much older Firth? Of course she will.

Things are also sometimes a bit wobbly on the production side.  In particular, some of the costuming on the extras playing Goths is a bit dodgy, especially around wigs and beards.  On the plus side though, the locations used for shooting - mostly Tunisia and Slovakia - look great.

The Last Legion is ultimately an adequate time filler, but there's really nothing terribly memorable about it.  Watch only if (gasp! spoiler!) Arthurian reconstructions are a real passion of yours.  Even then, maybe watch Avalon High instead.