Push (2009)

It belatedly occurs to me that this was probably not the most apropos choice for my Halloween review.  Oh well.

This movie has a couple of things going for it.  Alas, the script is not one of them.

Push is a bubble-and-squeak movie, with story and cast of characters that feel like they've been pilfered from other bits of media.  Now sometimes, this "throw some leftovers in a pot and fry 'em up" approach will work (with food as well as movies).  And sometimes you get lumpy slop that leaves you with a vague feeling of indigestion (with movies as well as food).

The basic premise is simple enough: there are psychics among us.  These include Watchers, who get glimpses of the (possible) future; Movers, who are telekinetic; and Pushers, who can plant memories and take control of your actions.  There are other kinds as well: some of which frankly don't seem much like psychic phenomena.  "Screaming really loudly" for instance, looks a lot more like a plain old mutant superpower.

As if so often the case in these kind of things, there are secret government organisations trying to control those with powers, as well as keep them from public knowledge (though frankly the mutants - I mean "psychics" - are about as subtle as the immortals in Highlander, so only wilful stupidity on the part of humanity can explain how they're not front page news).

Anyway, the US government's secret agency, 'Division', has discovered a drug that boosts the powers of those into whom it is injected.  Unfortunately, it also tends to kill them.  So they're understandably a little annoyed when the first person to survive the injection manages to escape.  She makes her way to Hong Kong, where a former boyfriend and a rag-tag group of other psychics try to help her stay one step ahead of the many people hunting her.  Will they succeed?  Frankly, you probably won't much care.

The two positives I mentioned several paragraphs ago are the cast and the location shooting.  The film has a fantastic ensemble, though it does very little with them.  The script either fails to earn its characters' arcs (such as with Dakota Fanning's character) or doesn't bother to give them one (such as with Ming Wa's).

Meanwhile, the choice to shoot entirely on location gives the film's depiction of Hong Kong a depth and richness that is often absent from movies using substitute locations.  Also, a film set in Asia with mostly Asian people on screen most of the time: what a concept!

Alas, the strong cast and strong "sense of place" can't overcome the fact that the story is a tedious mish-mash of recycled ideas.

End of the World (1977)

A haggard-looking priest (Christopher Lee) enters a diner and asks to use the phone - it's an emergency, and he needs to call the authorities.  The cook says of course he can, but when they venture to make the call, everything starts exploding.  The cook dies, and Father Lee, looking defeated, trudges into the night.  He comes to a small church, where he is greeted by ... Christopher Lee!  Dun dun dun.

I've just described everything interesting that happens in this movie.  Well, unless you consider it interesting that Sue Lyon, who played Lolita in the 1962 film of the same name, is in this tedious little bit of nihilism.

The basic plot hereafter: a scientist has two things going on in his life: messages from outer space, and a renewed sexual passion for his wife.  What the latter has to do with anything is frankly unclear, since it never really comes up again, but the messages actually matter for the plot.  The scientists tries to work out who is the intended recipient of the messages, and after a false start, he locates the small church from the start of the film.

The above takes about half the movie's run time, and I've frankly made it sound more interesting than it actually was.

Anyway, the aliens who have taken over the church capture the scientist and his wife (since she has accompanied him on his investigation).  They kill the priest - who they've kept alive thus far for reasons that aren't explained - and threaten dire things to the wife if the scientist does not steal something for them.  This is all explained as part of a dense wall of technobabble not even Star Trek would dare offer up.

After attempts to escape fail, the scientist agrees to help the aliens.  After he does, they reveal that this has allowed them to complete their plan: which is to blow up the Earth.  Why? To prevent our horrid diseases wiping out the galaxy.  They then bug out through their interstellar travel device.

(No, I don't know how Earth diseases are getting to other planets.  The movie certainly isn't going to tell us.)

Now, in another film, this would be when the scientist unveiled his clever plan to thwart the aliens and save the day.  In this one, however, he watches the world start being destroyed and then persuades his wife that they may as well follow the aliens and hope they'll be given refugee status on the other side, or something.  Because, you know, it's not like they'll be carrying those horrid Earth diseases with them.

So it's a stupid, nonsensical film.  I could forgive that if it wasn't boring, but it is.  Give it a miss.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

Ferris Bueller is not an intrinsically sympathetic character.  He's really got no hardship in his life to overcome: he's smart, handsome, popular, and has a gorgeous girlfriend and loving, wealthy parents.  It makes his early whining about not having a car of his own rather hard to take.

At heart though, Ferris is not a bad person.  He genuinely cares for his girlfriend Sloane and his best friend Cameron, and while he's pretty self-entitled about a lot of stuff, he does step up for others when it's needed.  That ability to be selfless - however little we get to see of it in the film - is what sets him apart from his antagonist in that film.

That antagonist is Ed Rooney, Dean of Students at Ferris's school.  Young master Bueller, you see, is respected by his peers - they look up to him in a way they don't look up to Rooney, and the older man is determined to catch Ferris in one of his many escapades and tear down what he sees as an usurpation of his authority.

And boy, does Ferris get up to escapades.  The film revolves around him faking an illness so as to have the day off - the ninth time he has done so for the semester.  His plan is to get Cameron and Sloane and indulge in a day of hijinks in downtown Chicago.  This is a plan that Rooney is determined to stop, as is Ferris's sister Jeanie.  She's also more than a little fed up of how everyone buys into whatever cock-and-bull story Ferris feeds them.

This is a frequently funny teen comedy with a charismatic cast (quite what happened to Matthew Broderick's career I'm not sure: he went from a series of commercial hits to a series of critically acclaimed roles, and then ... well, probably Godzilla had something to do with him never quite achieving true stardom).  About the only reason to dislike it is if you dislike Ferris.  As I said, he is a rather self-entitled individual, and his smugness early on can be a bit off-putting.  I'm sure some people watching the film will want to see him get his comeuppance.

This is probably also not a film that is best seen as an adult (or at least, not as an adult who has forgotten what it was like to be a teen).  All grown ups depicted in the film are basically ineffectual, and many of them are as full of themselves as Ferris is.

The film was deservedly successful on release, and I enjoyed re-watching it tonight.  Worth your time if you are in the mood for some light comedy.

Embryo (1976)

When movies with recognisable casts turn up in these boxed sets, it usually means the production company failed to maintain copyright, or sold the rights very cheaply due to financial troubles.  If wikipedia is to be believed, this is one of the former cases.

The film stars Rock Hudson (admittedly past the prime of his career, but fresh off a series of successful telemovies), and Barbara Carrera (whose fame was still ahead of her).  Hudson plays a scientist who finds an injured, pregnant dog and manages to save one of the premature puppies with an experimental serum that rapidly speeds the developmental process.  The pup soon grows to full size, allowing him to pass it off as the now-dead mother, but reverts to normal aging when he stops administering the drug.

The scientist then decides to try the drug on a human subject.  Not out of scientific hubris, as is normally the case in such films, but because he hopes to help save children that would otherwise die due to miscarriage or premature birth.  His deceased wife experienced several unsuccessful pregnancies, and he wants to prevent that from happening to other couples in the future.  He arranges to acquire a fetus that was born too premature to survive, and administers the drug to it.

Unfortunately, he should perhaps have paid more attention to his dog's behaviour before he tried this on a human.  While he has noticed that the animal seems unusually intelligent, he's not realised how smart it is, nor that it's got a heightened sense of aggression.  We, the audience see it kill a smaller dog in a scene that is unintentionally comical because it's so clearly not a real animal being savaged.

In any case, due to differences in the human and canine reproductive systems, the scientists finds that his test is too successful, and the fetus develops to young adulthood in the space of a few weeks.  However, he finally manages to halt the process with the application of a dangerous drug.

Of course, the echoes of Frankenstein are pretty obvious, and - pure as his motives may be - he's "tampering in god's domain".  So everything is eventually going to go horribly, horribly wrong.  Which is sadly where the movie falls apart.  It can't seem to decide if it wants Victoria (the scientist's creation - I did say the Framkenstein echoes were obvious) to be sinister or sympathetic, tries to have it both ways, and fails to really achieve either.

A bit of a squandered opportunity, I'm sad to say - the opening forty minutes or so (fake dog giggles aside) was pretty good, but it lost its way after that.  I did like the supporting performance by the mom from Alf, though.  She was fun.

Project A (1983)

Where the Once Upon A Time in China series are action/drama films with some ill-fitting comedy sequences, this is a flat-out action/comedy of the sort that would lead to Jackie Chan becoming a huge star in Hong Kong, and then throughout the world.  If you've ever seen a Chan film, you know more or less what to expect: imaginative and highly choreographed fight scenes with a broad, slapstick sense of humour and frequent uses of every day items - chairs, tables, and whatever else might be found in the area - as props and weapons.

Those comedic kung fu action sequences are really the selling point of Chan's films, with the plot just proving an excuse for everyone to get up to wacky martial arts hijinks.  Project A delivers pretty well on its core attraction.  There's a particularly fun bicycle chase/fight near the middle of the film that I think is the stand-out set piece, but the action rarely slacks for long and is almost always infused with a healthy measure of physical comedy.

Ultimately then, the plot of the film is just a frame work for delivering the many, many action sequences.  Still, it's serviceable enough: Chan plays a member of the Hong Kong coast guard during the age of pirates (the movie is not specific about the exact year).  The coast guard's not doing so well at its job, leading to a fierce rivalry with the police, who think the naval organisation is a waste of money.  This rivalry dominates the first half of the film, giving plenty of opportunities for each side to (try to) one-up the other.

The main plot finally gets rolling when Chan's character quits the force due to rising frustration with the bureaucratic meddling that prevents him from actually catching bad guys.  This brings him into direct conflict with the hired goons of local businessman Chau, who is working with the pirates, as well as into a reluctant partnership with Fei, a friend/rival with a larcenous streak.  Much mayhem will ensue before the climactic battle with the pirates can finally unfold.

There's nothing terribly deep or complex about Project A, but there's not trying to be.  If you've enjoyed other Chan films, you'll like this one.  If you've never seen one ... well, if you imagine the physical comedy of the old silent films (such as those of Buster Keaton), mixed in with martial arts, you should have a rough idea of what to expect.

I had a fun hour and a half with this.

Doomsday Machine (1972)

At the outset of this movie, a spy sneaks past guard dogs by throwing a cat over a wall and waiting for them to chase it.

Goofy nonsense like that is why I watch these boxed sets.

The spy discovers that the Chinese have developed a super-weapon that can destroy the planet, and will use it in 72 hours.  Because they have a death wish, I guess.  Given that one of the characters in the film refers to them as "chopstick jockeys", I don't think that the film-makers were interested in depicting the Chinese as anything more than a plot device.

The US reacts by amending a planned mission to Venus.  Instead of 7 men, the crew will now be 4 men and 3 women; a last ditch effort to save humanity if the Earth is destroyed (hence the movie's alternative title, Escape from Planet Earth).  I'd make some comment about seven people being too small a population base from which to rebuild, but this is a movie where Venus is apparently considered safe for human habitation, so it's a tad redundant to worry about scientific plausibility.

Anyway, the ship sets off, with most of the crew unaware of why the sudden change in personnel has occurred.  Two of the women know, and one of the men - I shall call him Old Guy; with the others being Young Guy, Boss Guy, and The Sex Offender - works it out pretty fast.  The others will soon be on the same page as well, when they witness the destruction of the Earth in an effects sequence largely recycled from other films.

The ship continues toward Venus, with the crew pairing off: Boss Guy with Blonde Woman; Sex Offender with Brunette Woman; Young Guy with Russian Woman.  Unfortunately, the destruction of the Earth is causing the ship to be bathed in radiation.  If they stick to their original timetable of 4 months for the voyage, they'll all be sterile by the time they get there.  The only hope is to make it in two months.  And the only way they'll have the fuel for that is if the crew is reduced to three!

The computer is tasked with determining who should survive, but the Sex Offender manages to get himself and Brunette Woman killed off when he tries to live up to his name, and Young Guy and Russian Woman sacrifice themselves to save the ship from a malfunction.  So the question becomes moot.

And up until now, the movie has actually been terrible but kind of fun to watch.  The tacky sets, weird multi-coloured lighting, and goofy writing being quite enjoyable (favourite moment: the artificial gravity acts up, causing a ham salad to float in the air.  Nothing else.  Just the ham sandwich.  Pigs can fly!).

The enjoyment is about to end, however.

You see, most of this movie was filmed in 1967, but the production was never completed for some reason (probably money).  The rights and footage were purchased four or five years later and an ending produced.  Because why let a little thing like "not having the original cast or sets" stop you?

Adrift in space, Young Guy and Russian Woman spot a derelict Soviet vessel (which had been mentioned earlier in the script).  They enter it, and their spacesuits magically gain opaque visors, in a futile attempt to conceal the fact that the actors have changed.  It's a cunning illusion that works well ... provided you can overlook that they completely different voices (including the woman having no Russian accent), that the suits are a different colour, or that they are the same size now when the woman was clearly smaller than the man, before.

But you know, I would be willing to forgive that as a necessity of the circumstances, if it let to an ending that continued the film's inept charm.  But it does not.  Instead ... well, it would literally have been better to have them crash on Venus and choke in the poisonous atmosphere, instead of what actually happens.

30 Days of Night (2007)

This is a good horror film.

Really, in terms of whether you should see it or not, that's all you need to know.  Either you have an interest in the horror genre, and should.  Or you don't, and shouldn't.  But just in case you feel like you need more information to make a decision, I've blathered on at some length below.

First things first, the plot: Barrow, Alaska is battening down the hatches before the onset of deep winter, when the sun won't rise for 30 days.  Unfortunately for them, this phenomenon has drawn the attention of a cabal of vampires, which plans to use the month of darkness to indulge in an orgy of feeding.  The townsfolk will soon find themselves in a battle for their lives.

Now I've been to Barrow, where this movie is allegedly set.  And just like for the purposes of the movie you are going to need to accept that vampires exist, you're also going to need to believe a lot of stuff about Barrow that isn't true.  It doesn't really experience a month of complete darkness, for instance.  Even on days when the sun doesn't rise above the horizon, there is some light.  It's also a lot larger than the film's depiction, and contains a lot more native Alaskans.  Really, the only one of these inaccuracies that irks me is the white-washing of the cast.

Potentially more problematic are some unanswered questions in the script.  How did the vampires get to Barrow?  How do they plan to leave?  (There are no roads leading out of town, a fact the film does get right)  Why do they hang around for the full thirty days, when they pretty much wipe out the town in the first 24 hours?

Those quibbles aside (and you could probably come up with explanations, the movie just doesn't do it itself) this is solid stuff.  The film, which is based on the comic of the same name, introduces the characters effectively, setting up who they are and giving us some reason to care about the upcoming carnage.

Once the vamps arrive we head into the standard survival horror kind of thing: outmatched humans try to stay alive against an enemy for which they're simply not prepared.  The film executes this much better than average, however.  We don't get the usual "idiot ball" antics of such films (people do irrational things, sure, but they're believable irrational things).  There's also some nice subversion of a couple of the more common tropes of the genre.  I'm a sucker for a subverted trope.  I was also pleased with the absence of fake outs and "jump scares".  This is a movie that keeps the menace looming, rather than going for a cheap "gotcha" moment.  I'm not sold on all the details of the last ten minutes, but thematically it works pretty well so I can live with it.

With a solid (if too whitebread) cast and a strong though not flawless script, this is, as I said several paragraphs ago, a good horror film.